


The Broken Heart Syndrome

by DeyaAmaya



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Character Death, Established Relationship, Friendship, Heavy Angst, Hospitalization, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 04:45:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16988277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeyaAmaya/pseuds/DeyaAmaya
Summary: The snowfall. The rain right after. The black ice covering the roads and Andrew driving the Maserati back from Christmas shopping. The Maserati crashed against a goddamn tree. Andrew in the driving seat, looking like he's sleeping, not a spot of blood on him anywhere.(Internal hemorrhage, Aaron had said, eyes hollow.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is written for the Aftg Winter Exchange on tumblr, for Taylor (Butcherneil). They said they were okay with character death so that's what I've gone with *sweats* I hope it's not too bad ._.

Where was Neil's chest?

 

His head and arms and legs were all there, sticking out of something that felt like a hollow barrel, or a dead tree stump. The inside

 

was

 

empty.

 

His heart, lungs, all the organs scooped out, carved out, so his breath kept rattling inside. Useless. Was he still breathing? Why can't he lift his arms or legs or head? There's something so, so heavy on top of him, it hurts to breathe.

 

'Neil,' someone calls him. 'Neil, give me your keys.'

 

His keys?

 

Neil opens his right fist. The keys have left indents on his palm. He watches as Kevin takes them.

 

His keys. Keys to the Court. To his and Andrew's apartment. To Andrew's Maserati.

 

The snowfall. The rain right after. The black ice covering the roads and Andrew driving the Maserati back from Christmas shopping. The Maserati crashed against a goddamn tree. Andrew in the driving seat, looking like he's sleeping, not a spot of blood on him anywhere.

 

(Internal hemorrhage, Aaron had said, eyes hollow.)

 

Oh. Andrew.

 

Right.

 

Neil's stomach lurched. He shoved Kevin aside and ran for the bathroom. He heaved into the toilet for a few minutes to no avail. There was nothing left in his stomach, nothing left inside him, nothing whatsoever.

 

********

 

Allison knows force-feeding Neil won't solve anything. She tries anyway. Neil stares through her as he relents and eats a few bites before going back to bed.  
He's been in bed ever since..... the funeral.

He'd stood there in the pouring rain like a block of ice, unmoving and just as cold when Allison tried to hug him. He hadn't said a word during the service or the burial. He only stirred when Matt tried to tug him away from Andrew's grave.

'Leave me alone,' he'd said quietly, but with enough force that Matt had let go of him. They hadn't left him alone, though. Matt and Dan had shared an umbrella, waiting for him just out of sight, close enough to help him if he'd needed.

He hadn't. Neil only stood there for hours, soaking down to his bones in the chilly November rain, before he dropped the single rose in his hand and walked away.

That had been a week ago.

Neil was back in the apartment he and Andrew had bought a year ago. The foxes were worried for him. So Allison volunteered to stay with him for a few days. She could just attend her business online for a few days. She had a carefully constructed plan to help Neil cope. After all, she knew what it was like to lose someone you love without any warning.

Her plan wasn't working.

She was trying her best. But it seemed like the light had gone out of Neil. He was a gray parody of himself regardless of his red haair, blue eyes and all the colorful pjs Allison made him wear.

It's almost as if Andrew took Neil's colors with him when he died.

 

*********

 

Kevin had thought exy would make Neil feel better. It'd been a month. Surely Neil was feeling better?

Kevin had his keys. He made Nicky drive them to the Foxhole court. Nicky kept chattering the whole way and Kevin missed Andrew, missed his comfortable quiet, his derisive snorts at Neil and Kevin's banter.

At court, his absence was glaring. Andrew rarely ever played with them. But Kevin always knew he was watching, ready to protect the both of them. This late at night, being out here made Kevin think of long forgotten demons and ghosts, of black ceilings and clotted blood on the floor.

Neil was a shadow of himself. He went through the motions of exy. Finishing drill after drill. Kevin gritted his teeth and urged him to go faster, harder. Neil kept going till his hands shook from exhaustion. He took off the helmet, shaking out his sweat-soaked hair. He sat down on the fox's paw.

'Andrewwww, can we go back home yet?'

Kevin stopped dead on his feet, looking at Neil.

Neil turned towards the goal, 'And-'

Kevin saw the moment he remembered. His flushed face turned ashen in an instant and Nicky was running before Kevin could even process the thought. Nicky crouched down and threw his arms around Neil just as he screamed.

Kevin wanted to clap his hands over his ears. The scream traveled down his spine, curdled his blood. It was anguish in it's purest form. Neil screamed till his voice gave out. He slumped against Nicky, who was sobbing at this point. 'We got you, baby,' he murmured to Neil. 'We got you.'

 

**********

 

Neil isn't responding.

Robin feels panic bubble up her throat, threatening to cut off her air. Andrew would know what to do. Andrew would fix this.

But Andrew isn't here.

She can't tell if Neil is breathing, she can't find his pulse, his heartbeat and there's darkness closing in from all sides.

She calls Kevin.

 

*********

 

Aaron hasn't been sleeping well. So he's obviously disgruntled when his phone rings fuck o' clock in the morning.

It's Kevin. Aaron moves to the balcony to give Katelyn the chance to sleep.

'What do you want?' he demands.

On the line, Kevin sounds frantic and Aaron feels sleep abandon him.

'Wait, slow down, Kevin. What did you just say?'

'Neil is in hospital' his voice breaks. 'The stupid doctors say it's something called Broken Heart Syndrome but they're making it up, right? It can't be real. Aaron, you're a doctor. Tell me they're lying, please-'

 

*********

 

Renee takes out her black dress out of Allison's closet and runs a palm down the silky folds.

She bought it only three months ago for Andrew's funeral. She wore it to Neil's funeral yesterday. She was going to burn it as soon as the wretched rain stops.

Allison's arms snaked around her waist, the taller girl placing her chin on Renee's shoulder.

'Tell me it's a nightmare,' she whispered.

Except it wasn't.

'I can't believe it either,' Renee tells her.

Allison takes a deep breath. Lets it out into Renee's hair. 'We used to call them monsters, remember? And now one if them is dead because he went to buy gifts for his family, for us. The other one died from a broken heart.'

It's all so unfair, Renee thinks, the black fabric crumpling in her fist.

'At least they're together now, wherever they are.'

Renee thinks maybe it's for the best. They were one half of a whole, and she couldn't grudge Neil for not wanting to live an incomplete life.

'Come back to bed?' Allison tells her and moves away.

Renee follows.


	2. Alternate Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron disappears along the corridor, following the nurse. Kevin stays. Let the doctor handle it. He's still too numb to move. The prospect of losing another one of his cornerstones has him shutting down the world. As if losing Andrew wasn't bad enough. Not Neil too. Please....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I'm too weak for the angst.
> 
> BTW it's un-beta-ed to all the typo and plot holes and grammar stuff is my fault entirely.

 Steam was rising from the tiny styrofoam cup of coffee. It curled up a bit, vanishing under the sterile white light glaring all around the cramped room. It stopped after a while, the liquid going cold. Kevin kept staring.

 

 

Someone was rubbing his shoulder,  murmuring softly. Aaron. He was the only one Kevin had called after.....

 

Aaron's hand clenched on him for a second. Kevin looked up. It was a doctor, calling for Mr. Minyard-Josten's family.

 

Aaron is donning his professional mask in an instant. 'I'm his brother-in-law. How is he?'

 

_Brother-in-law_. The word penetrates through Kevin's shock, shocking him even more. He never thought Aaron would acknowledged Neil like that. 

 

But things were different now, weren't they?

 

Aaron disappears along the corridor, following the nurse. Kevin stays. Let the doctor handle it. He's still too numb to move. The prospect of losing another one of his cornerstones has him shutting down the world. As if losing Andrew wasn't bad enough.

 

Not Neil too. _Please...._

 

Kevin can feel the panic trying to settle on his skin, again. He stands up, stretching stiff limbs. He's dying for some vodka.

 

'Kevin!'

 

He's startled. He spots Renee coming in, almost running, followed by Allison. Heads turn as she thunders down to where Kevin was standing, at the very back of the waiting room. 

 

'Is he.....?' she's slightly out of breath, her voice cracking imperceptibly. 

 

'Don't know,' Kevin confesses. 'Aaron went to check.' Allison scoffs.

 

'Are you sure he won't just pull the plug?'

 

'Allison!' Renee chides, putting a hand on Kevin's arm. Allison shrugs and looks away, slightly chagrined. Kevin would've bitten her head off any other time. But they all have different methods of coping. Hers might be going max bitch mode.

 

Renee's coping method seems to be the opposite. If Jeremy Knox was sunshine, Renee was Aurora Borealis. Losing Andrew seemed to have leached her colors. He's only seen her a handful of times since his death. Every time she has been without a smile, wearing black from head to toe. A tribute to Andrew, he thinks.

 

Aaron is back, his forehead creased. Dread pools in Kevin's stomach.

 

'You wouldn't believe.... he really had the Broken heart syndrome.'

 

Renee sucks in a breath. 'What?' 

 

Allison answers before Aaron, surprisingly. 'It's a heart condition. Kind of like a heart attack.'

 

Aaron is staring at her. 'Yes. That's what the doctors thought at first, heart attack. But it wasn't.'

 

'Why is it called broken heart syndrome?' Kevin asks. He can't help it. He can't believe an actual medical condition has such a ludicrous name. 

 

All three of them look sad at his words. Allison's voice goes soft, softer than he's ever heard. 'Because, you idiot, it happens to someone whose heart is broken. Their heart can't take it anymore and gives up.'

 

Gives up. That sounds exactly like Neil, doesn't it? He'd given up after...

 

Aaron clears his throat. 'Well, good news is Robin did the best thing, calling Kevin when she did. He got treatment early. He's going to be alright in a few weeks.'

 

Neil is alive?

 

Kevin feels his body give out, Renee and Aaron scrambling to catch him. Kevin can't bring himself to care.

 

Alive. Alive. Alive.

 

_Neil is alive._

 

 

************

 

 

Neil hasn't left the bed for more than a few minutes in weeks. So it's no wonder his sleep is riddled with terror and darkness.

 

After a long bout of pain and blood and screaming, he can finally breathe. There is a stretch of nondescript gray surrounding him and it's oddly soothing. 

 

The crunch of heavy boots on gravel reaches his ears. He turns his head slowly, knowing who it is. His lips stretching in a smile.

 

Andrew doesn't stop to say hello, just keeps coming till he has Neil wrapped in his arms and warmth. Neil burrows closer, feeling his body melt like butter.

 

'I missed you.' he says, inhaling his lover's scent. His fingers clenching in soft blond hair.

 

'Idiot,' comes the reply. Neil shivers at the rough voice. He missed it too.

 

'I'm never letting you go again,' he promises, suddenly breathless. He remembers Andrew's accident like it happened a hundreds years ago, like it was a lingering bad taste in his mouth.

 

'You're not coming with me.'

 

_What?_

 

'You don't mean that!'

 

Andrew cups his hands around Neil's face, running a thumb over his lips. 'You're staying here. It's not your time yet. Wait.'

 

Neil clutches at his shirt harder. 'No!' he all but shouts. 'I'm not doing this without you. I can't!'

 

'Neil, you can. If anyone can, it's you. You will survive, you have to.'

 

'Why?' Neil feels his eyes burn, tears tipping over. 'Why are you leaving me again?'

 

Andrew kisses him once, twice. Neil drinks him in.

 

'I'll wait for you. I'll wait forever. There's no rush.'

 

Neil answers with a sob. Andrew sinks down, pulling Neil onto his lap. 

 

'The others need you. Robin needs you. Your team needs you-'

 

'Fuck the team,' Neil grits out. 'Fuck exy.'

 

Andrew snorts. He wipes at Neil's face, fingertips ghosting over scars. His lips follow right after. 

 

'Go back now, love.' He says, 'They're waiting for you.'

 

Neil doesn't let go. 'Sure you can't take me along?'

 

Andrew huffs in annoyance, shutting him up with a kiss. 'Go. I said I'll wait for you, didn't I?'

 

'I love you!' Neil tells him as Andrew and the gray world fades around him. 'I'll always love you, Andrew!'

 

Neil isn't sure, but he thinks Andrew mouths it back right before the world goes dark.

 

******

 

Recovering from the Broken Heart Syndrome took little over a month.

 

Mending Neil's heart too a little longer.

 

He would've let himself drown in apathy again, if not for Kevin.

 

Neil remembers Kevin's emotional outburst when the doctors deemed Neil fit enough to go home and Neil didn't even react.

 

'I don't care if you decide to drop Exy, Neil!' Kevin shouted. 'Do whatever you want, open a cat cafe for all I care! Just don't leave me too!'

 

Neil hadn't realized how much Andrew's departure had affected Kevin, until that moment. He'd wordlessly held up his arms for Kevin to walk into, and Kevin held on for dear life. 

 

'I miss him too. I don't want to miss you both, damnit!' 

 

Neil wordlessly vowed to make a better effort at living.

 

Maybe he will live another forty, fifty years. Maybe he will be the US court's fastest, most expensive strike. Maybe he'll adopt enough cats to fill a two story house.

 

Maybe there will be bad times, when he misses his deceased husband like a missing limb. But he'll keep wearing his ring, keep his name hyphenated. He'll rely on the other foxes for help when the days are dark and nights are darker.

 

But at the end of the long, winding road, he'll meet the love of his life. His heart will finally be at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say Hi on Tumblr! I'm Andreil-Minyasten.


End file.
